Thursday, November 24, 2011

Remembering Thankful on Thanksgiving



On Death, Dying, and Getting Laid Off
Remembering what "thankful" looked like in November 2008

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Working absorbs a good bit of you. Getting there, for me, was thirty minutes.  Getting home another thirty. Plus the eight, more or less, I spent there. Twenty-four minus nine for work, minus eight for sleep, leaves seven hours of “me” time.  Even minus a couple of minutes of thought that I would give my job every Sunday night, preparing for the week ahead.  But even knowing that work is my biggest “time eater”, I am still surprised by the attachment I had to showing up from nine to six. 

I figured out the depth of my feelings the day I was laid off. I had dragged myself to the office—Mondays are never easy. I’d paid particular care to my personal appearance and worn high heels. I was hoping to impress the candidate who was scheduled to interview for my job. If she was hired, I was promoted. Sweet deal for me.

Instead the corporate office closed us that morning. Despite the emails in my inbox pertaining to next month’s issue, the magazine would close. Corporate tried to make it into a civilized affair: explaining to the eighty of us in the conference room who would soon be out of work how this was “a business decision,” how it “broke their hearts but the industry wasn’t what it was ten years ago”.  But as the dust settled, business for them became deeply personal for me.

The good news? This wont happen again. The layoff? Sure, I could be laid off many more times during my career. But the vulnerability? The sadness? The personal affront and my naïveté? No, I won’t be affected the same way again.  I can’t be: I'm older, wiser, and perhaps a little jaded. And despite losing that part of my identity when I walked out of my office for the last time five days after we’d been given the news of the closing, I found that I was still the same person. Yes, I’m still here, but thanks to that experience, I'm tough, bruised, battered and more mature -- a silver lining and a blessing, a gift from those nasty blue suits.

Then there is the dandelion effect -- one of those surprising byproducts that you ultimately become quite grateful for. I worked with the most amazing, kind, talented, sophisticated people. Some of us were just starting out while others were seasoned veterans, and we all learned from one another.  The best part of being unceremoniously tossed out is to watch everyone scatter to different jobs in the industry.  Soon, I might know someone everywhere. And fortunately I ended up getting another job pretty quickly.  Part of me was relieved to have the paycheck keep coming every two weeks, to have insurance. But another part of me wistfully thought of all of the late night and daytime television I could have caught up on and all those neighborhoods and out of the way places I’d always wanted to explore.

But life is a put-one-foot-in-front-of-the-other-and-move situation. This is my new adventure, and exploring unknown territories like Brooklyn and Queens maybe be down the road.  Throughout the obstacle course, we grow tougher, stronger, hopefully wiser, and definitely more appreciative of the good.  I know I am. I am thankful for the wonderful people I worked with. I am thankful to have the opportunity to start again. Lots of people don’t get that. I think of my parents’ friend who dropped dead of a heart attack on his treadmill in May or my friend who is dying of a brain wasting disease as her parents pray that she lives through the holidays, and I realize that either of the two would love to get laid off. Would love to be battered and bruised but wiser. And appreciation mounts for this crazy, confusing, and upsetting thing called life as well as a person’s miraculously beautiful ability to adapt. We grow and learn until we die.  I’m keeping my fingers crossed that my time comes later rather than earlier. After all, I’m still figuring things out.

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